Tell it to someone who gives a shit

Dear Starbucks customers,

I am sorry that the company has raised its prices, and you now have to pay $2.15 for a venti coffee. I am sorry that your grande Pumpkin Spice Latte is $4.75. I don't much like it, either. Its shit. Shit shit shit. I KNOW, trust me. But please, for the love of all that is holy, call fucking corporate and yell at them. I don't fucking decide what to charge you, fyi. 'Aint my fault. So stop fuckin yelling across the counter, stop telling me I'm a fucking fascist, and don't tell me I'm not getting tips anymore because the prices are so high while you look at me as if I CAN FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Cause I can't.

Thanks,

BB